When you think of the term “sex pest”, what comes to mind? That random guy in the pub who always touches your lower back when he walks past you? The lead singer of a local pop-punk band? Louis CK? What about the Hog’s Breath Cafe mascot? hogstermore precisely the one who lives in Orange?
Yes, Hog’s Breath Cafe Orange posted on Instagram that Hogster has officially entered its #MeToo era.
“We love Hogster. He is the heart and soul of our restaurant,” it read.
“However, her enthusiasm can sometimes be confused with other emotions, especially towards Eastern European women.
“A lot of times when Hogster tries to be welcoming and friendly, people can get the impression that he’s being too ‘protesting’.”
There’s a lot to unpack here. First things first: it’s fair to say that Hogster is the heart and soul of Hog’s Breath Cafe. Without him, the establishment would simply be “Breath Cafe”, which looks like a dog shit place serving cold, flabby curly fries.
Second: How many Eastern European women are there in Orange, New South Wales? Is it really a prosperous metropolis for Belarusian expats? If so, why are they all dining at Hog’s Breath Cafe?
Third: isn’t he “posh” and not “manageable”, per se? And wouldn’t the anatomy of a hoof prohibit it from groping effectively?
Don’t think for a second that I’m condoning the actions of the rogue pig. He must be held accountable for his inappropriate behavior.
There are a lot of things about the whole situation that I don’t understand.
For example, is Hog’s Breath Cafe Orange social media the most unhinged person on the planet, making balls against the wall in this steakhouse? Or is it all extremely elaborate but specific?
The handsome establishment in Orange uses social media photos of Hog’s Breath Cafe Kelmscott, which is in Perth. Like this meal which consists of grilled chicken breast with half an avocado on top.
And this guy who is ready to absolutely devour this sundae.
But could it just be a franchise sharing resources? Maybe Orange is a lawless place and they can get away with things we can’t do in the West.
Whatever the truth, according to the post, Hogster has thankfully learned from his mistakes.
“We’ve spoken to Hoggy and he’s crossed his hooves that he won’t be doing it again,” it read.
There are also wings on the menu at Hog’s Breath Cafe Orange.
“Come in and try our Southern style wings today!”
PEDESTRIAN.TV reached out to the Hog’s Breath Cafe Orange Instagram account for comment. Pray for an answer.
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Source: Facebook / Hog’s Breath Café Orange